I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
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