Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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