We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
