kristin has been a bad kristin
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Mom said you looked used
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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