fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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