pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
