yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
