The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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