well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
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