Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
