I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
