I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
