we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
