just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
