at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
