Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
