apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize