pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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