When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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