this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize