tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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