I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
