thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
