I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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