Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
