First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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