A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
