can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
