Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
