I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
