We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
