That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's blow job season.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
