i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
ttyl tear gas
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
