I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
