Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Randomize
