what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
