I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
