rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
