That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
