; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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