She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
