You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Randomize
