If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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