I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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