Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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