just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
