dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize