Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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