WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
