you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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