Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
