Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
