So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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