You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
