$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
