I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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