it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Is Oprah even human
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
