help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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