sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
soo... how was my night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
