Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
