census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
