He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
