if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize