PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
