two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
