we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
