I skipped work to stalk him.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
