why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
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