So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize