Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
