we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
