ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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