Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
