I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
