I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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