This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
