If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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