He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
