I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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